How to Stay Icky in a Down Economy

The recession sucks.  That is, unless you haven't lost your job and are just enjoying the drink specials.  Either way, there's no excuse to not stay icky.  Here's my current advice. for the times.

1)  Wear Hane's tee-shirts for everything.  They're $10 for a pack of three, and you get to show your nipple, which is more effective than a brand name.  

2) Become a dealer.  Why not help spread the love?

3) Create a Second Life avatar that sells $5 hand jobs and charge virtual users real money for the experience. 

4)  Switch to PBR.

5) Move to Murray Hill.

6) Fake being Jewish and get a free vacation.

7) Sell "organic artisnal" $4 iced tea and lemonade to people in the Meat Packing District.