What does it take to get a badass 3-story apartment in Tribeca?

Apparently, the magical equation is as follows:

Scientology + Hit Sitcom + Hot Fiance = BadAss Tribeca Apartment

I pondered these thoughts as I enjoyed drinking Heineken minikeg beer and smoking a one-hitter with friends on the rooftop lounge area of Danny Masterson's Tribeca apartment. Now, we all know that Tribeca isn't necessarily the coolest area of Manhattan, but it sure beats Murray Hill. But Danny Masterson is kind of a tool, even though Hyde was by far the coolest member of the 70s show gang. He's a fuckin Scientologist who Twitters non-stop. And, this luxury apartment did not give off rock-star cool vibes whatsoever. We had to be quiet, so as to not wake his mother. But damn, they are designing a badass patio-chill-area that was screaming for an alcohol-infused BBQ.

Disclaimer: Danny Masterson wasn't there at the time.

- Miss Chrissy

Del the Funky Homosapien at the Williamsburg Waterfront Show this Sunday

Del the Funky Homosapien is pretty badass, and he's never on the east coast. So let's check him out this weekend and determine his level of ickyness. Sample video below.

- M.C.

How to Stay Icky in a Down Economy

The recession sucks.  That is, unless you haven't lost your job and are just enjoying the drink specials.  Either way, there's no excuse to not stay icky.  Here's my current advice. for the times.

1)  Wear Hane's tee-shirts for everything.  They're $10 for a pack of three, and you get to show your nipple, which is more effective than a brand name.  

2) Become a dealer.  Why not help spread the love?

3) Create a Second Life avatar that sells $5 hand jobs and charge virtual users real money for the experience. 

4)  Switch to PBR.

5) Move to Murray Hill.

6) Fake being Jewish and get a free vacation.

7) Sell "organic artisnal" $4 iced tea and lemonade to people in the Meat Packing District.